These few weeks for me have been the most tiring for me, not only do i have to rush to complete my PW, i still had to face many obstacles brought up to me from God. Problems arose when i started reading Job. God suddenly seemed distant to me. I prayed to God to show me what my weaknesses were and i was bombarded with hundreds of them. I felt my knees trembling, i felt at that time that i was too much for me to bear. From there, i drifted away from the truth.
Things that i thought would never happen to me occurred. I became the guy who gets irritated easily, treats God like dirt and walks in the dark. During this time i was ashamed of putting my sins in from of God and confess, i was taking over by my human instinct and the devil. Pride, hatred, laziness, lust and other sins have taken control over my body. I complained to God a lot, and grumbling to him about the things i am going through. Worshiping became routine, no longer for the glory of God, just something to get it over and done with. Sleep seemed more important than time with God. Falling into temptation was the easy way out and i took it. Advice from people came out from the other ear. Not much effort was left to continue continue strengthening friendships.
I asked God why is this happening to me, but i did not see that it was myself that allowed this to happen. I have allowed doubt to slowly flourish in my human brain, drawing me further away from God and Nearer to the devil. Looking back, God had used many ways to try to establish contact with me, like one of the sermons about Elijah and how God appeared to Him in a whisper. Everything looked set to changed for the better until the next day, more stuff would happen to make me more down. Prayer time with God became shorter until there wasn’t even one. I looked to me that Satan has already won the battle and i was happy even if things stayed the same like this. What was worse, i became sick this Tuesday. It started with a sore throat, then came the running nose and lastly the fever with headaches on Thursday.
