Letter to God

Why cant i ever share with You how i really feel? Why must i always keep it to myself? Why do You not listen to what i have to say? Do You even care for me? Is Your heart with someone else, that you cant respond to me? Aren’t we all suppose to be equals in your eyes?

You must have heard and saw what i wrote, so would You promise me that you would show me the way? The way to desiring You more? The way a relationship should be like? Please shift the paradigm, change my incorrect precepts about living as a disciple and draw me closer to You.

No longer do i desire to be shackled by my own desires, i want a relationship that glorifies your name! Being able to live my life joyful all the time and present myself to those around me as one who has experienced the unconditional love of God!

Whom do i have but you?

At the end of the road, no more do i want to use my own abilities…its just too tiring to do everything yourself…

No one else can help me

No one else can truly understand

No one else knows me like you do

You know my thoughts even before i think

May You now show yourself, i want to learn to surrender myself…

… … …

The church was buzzing with the chattering of people young and old, smiles that were on these church goers could brighten up lives…

And through the noise, a mother screamed for her child…”HANNAH!”…But there was no response, even when the children was only a few arms length away.

a “Shhh….” came through the speaker and everyone went silent…

“hannah…” whispered the mother, and instantaneously, the daughter rushed to the side of her mother whom she so loves…

 

Father may you quieten my heart and soul to listen to you…Call out to me so i may know who you are…

Studying…

Life at the university has been great so far…and i have finally managed to start school! Its been a week and studying has never been so fun! Albeit time consuming but the comprehension of never seen before terms have been a motivating factor for me to continue pursing the scientific side of Psychology…i never knew that learning about Neurons, Glial Cells, Action potentials etc. would get me so excited! Maybe i have always been a bio student, just that i wasn’t fortunate enough to be able to take it in secondary school i even looked up on basic chemistry just for the sake of understanding more of psychology de…Adenosine Triposphate (ATP)…how wonderful it felt when i managed to apply this energy producing compound that i learned from basic chemistry into the understanding of sodium-potassium transmembrane pump…This is what i want to say in short…

“Men go abroad to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; but they pass by themselves and they don’t even notice.” - Augustine

That i felt humbled to be able to see the creator at work in his creation. Everything was not fitted in haphazardly, we were all wonderfully and beautifully created by a God, who  loves us so much that he has given Himself to us as a testimony given at the proper time! Everything in our body was created for good reasons! I pray that God would continue to show me the works of His hands through every Biopsychology lesson!

On another note…Ancient World in Film is really something difficult that i have to struggle with myself internally de, so please pray for me de…i want to learn how to submit to your authority! To learn how to be obedient and face every struggle knowing you are near, and even when i feel that you aren’t you will never forsake me de! Perhaps if we think of it another way, it is not God’s presence, but absence that reassures man of the salvation!

Was thinking of joining the non-audition string orchestra but i missed the practice session today Was changing my strings and couldn’t make it on time…oh well, at least i managed to change my strings, which means i can actually start practising in preparation for next week!

Press on de! Yeah ^^

Who Am I?

Thou who art beyond the farthest

Mortal eye can scan,

Can it be that Thou regardest

Songs of sinful man?

Can we feel that Thou art near us,

And wilt hear us?

Yea, we can.

(Angel-Voices, Francis Pott)

 

Church Hopping?

Hmm…everyone keeps telling me to  find a church as soon as possible, but i guess i may have already found the church to be in…

http://www.cairnsroad.org/home/

Here are a few reasons why

(1) They place great importance on the upbringing of children in the word of God, and they have something like a MEBIG system over there as well

(2) They are mission oriented, not only to other countries, but equally important, to learn to share the love of God even amongst your fellow co-workers

(3) They place great importance on the understanding of the word, and the sermons challenges the congregation to go out and live of the word to the world, to be a pillar and buttress of truth to the people around them! They even have their pod casts online ^^

(4) Its a family/ local church, being very active in the outreach to the community around them

So please do continue to pray for me? I think i will be going there again next week to check it out again…there’re like lots of kids too!

 

Living for God?

Lol…the environment in UK is totally different…just met a British when i was queueing up for my electives, we started chatting about stuff and i was greatly humbled! There was so much knowledge in him that if felt that all knowledge would just flow out if his head exploded. Topics ranged from Philosophy (his majoring in it) to British political system, to the GDP of Singapore, Singlish, Art, thought processes etc…i want to think like him as well de! To be able to digest what the world gives you and systematically input these info into your thought process, yes! that’s what i hope to achieve within these 3 years of academic study in Bristol ^^ Haha, really hoping to see him again soon, we’re taking the same electives actually ^^ (on ancient world) Haha, met an italian as well, his doing History of Art. Its quite encouraging to see the Europeans taking what they actually are passionate about, and hopefully i too am doing what i love? (Better think it through again de)

Anyway, got my electives, doing Ancient World in Film for this term, and Judaism and Christianity for the next…Hopefully the films are not the black and white types produced in the 1920s ^^ Oh, and hopefully i can find the booth for the Malaysian and Singapore Society as well as the string orchs ^^

 

 

Settling In?

Yeah! I’m ready I’m ready I’m ready…

My parents just left in the afternoon! Surprisingly I didn’t cry when I saw the back of the taxi driving off White Ladies Road…Looks like i have really learned my lesson from 2 and a half years back ^^

Well, just 3 days into my hall life and I managed to meet new friends, really thank God de! There’s really awesome people here too, contrary to what I believed, and I am of course very thankful! There’s friends from England, Thailand, Indonesia, India, China, Hong Kong, Malaysia and even Singapore de! Hmm…I’m feel so blessed to be able to make so many new friends even without the drinking and clubbing :) Of course I would miss my friends over at GMT +8, but I am certain that it’s God’s plan for me to come to Bristol, to take Psych and even to stay at this supposedly party hall! Looking back, I was actually quite afraid of meeting new people that I just locked myself up in my own room for the first night…and I was totally complaining to God why He allowed me to make such a rash decision of choosing this hall. God didn’t change the circumstances after the complaint, instead, he changed my perspective and attitude! My job is to show care and concern and love to those that are around me de…so instead of whining, I should instead look at the needs of others instead of being so self-absorbed, God then gave me peace that surpassed all understanding! Yes, and that was how I came out of my comfort zone to meet new friends and start conversations ^^ And I do pray that these relationships would not be fu yan ones, but instead should be built on lots of concern and sharing! Wahaha…yes! That is the Di Jie that I know, whom has been filled with the love of God!

Hmm…School’s starting next week, but there’s lots of stuff that I still have to settle before I am truly settled in, that includes getting a phone line, registering for school, etc…hopefully it will all go well! Realised that my timetable is actually quite slack? Haha, I only have 2 modules every week to date…hopefully that’ll give me more time to mug and perhaps join a string orchestra? Really excited for school, maybe because its been such a long time since I studied. Haha, my brain has rusted during the 2 years of NS…hopefully I would be able to lubricate my gears soon!

I would post some photos of Bristol up on Facebook soon! <3

New Chapter…Old Story

Apprehensive yet excited…Sad, but full of joy… Anxious yet at peace.

These are the emotions that i am feeling in the last few days of my full time slacker life in Singapore before i embark on my 3 year study trip to Bristol. A certain unwillingness to put down my life, friends and ministries in Singapore, yet at the same time, yearning to have the time for reflection and spiritual breakthrough over at Bristol! I believe that the old DJ would cry because of the uncertainties of the world outside and the lost of comfort…But the DJ that cried over these few days wasn’t crying over these, but cried because God has shown him time and time again the love that He has for this one person out of the billions that He created.

This DJ has been greatly blessed by God, and is eternally thankful for the people that He has put in his life…

God has commanded him to “…Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witness” (1 Timothy6:11-12) And he understands the need to continue to be the pillar and buttress of truth, which is the salvation that comes only through our Lord Christ Jesus. He shall head towards Bristol with anticipation and boldness “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy1:7) Of course there are bound to be suffering…but “Count it all joy my brothers, when you meet trails of various kinds, for you know that the testing of faith produces steadfastness” (James1:4) and “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test of he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” (James1:12)

And as he prays and give thanks for the revelations that he had through his QT in the sweltering heat of the endless summer in Singapore, he is ready for the falling autumn that is to come in less then 24 hours…Hey 老爸！Your son is ready to go to where you have willed

Refresh!

Time to start blogging again…soon…